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Queries about psychotherapy
 Psychotherapy.co.za - Discussion GroupsQueries about psychotherapy
Subject Topic: Borderline Personality Disorder???? Post ReplyPost New Topic
 Borderline Personality Disorder????
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Posted: 2005 October 24 at 10:03pm | IP Logged Quote JBearR32

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Hi there

I'm so incredibly upset and frustrated right now!  My therapist who I've been seeing for about 4/5 months now told me today he thinks I'm BPD!  I've read enough self-help books to know what that means and I'm so HUUUUGH Angry!

I feel he's called me that because I'm taking 'so long' to come out with the difficult issues that I'm trying to deal with - I'm by no means impulsive nor do I have volatile interpersonal relationships or a destructive lifestyle - I feel like I'm simply asking for help with difficult issues (that by the way I DO WANT TO GET OVER) but that because it's about 26-28 years & 7 years ago respectively that these things took place, I know I'm having a hard time saying certain things!

Maybe I'm just being judgemental but I can't accept that 'diagnosis' - that's just not me - and if it is - then what's the point?  Realistically, it's kind of like a 'well that's just who you are so you have to accept it and 'settle for less' for the rest of your life' - keep your expectations 'realistic' - hell I hate that word! 

I feel like I want SO MUCH out of life but my anxiety attacks (directly related to certain traumatic events I think) is making me doubt myself, my future, and now my sanity.  And no matter how hard I try, I can't even make him understand that my cutting is not about control - it brings me 'down' when I'm having an anxiety attack.  crikey - I don't know what to think at the moment...

If you have any response - please send me a private mail as I won't be able to come online for a few days...

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Posted: 2005 October 31 at 8:55am | IP Logged Quote DavidvdW

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Well the first thing is to tell your therapist you are pissed with him.

Another thing is that Borderline Personality Disorder is the patterned response of a sensitive individual to an environment that has not been able to recognise and validate this sensitivity. To the contrary the environment has systematically invalidated and brutalised that sensitivity.

What this means is that at the heart Borderline Personality Disorder lies sensitivity with all that implies - creativity, intuition, capacity for empathy and so on. The recovery lies in learning to recognise and use this sensitivity.

I won't PM you unless its in response to a request for a referral.


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Posted: 2008 August 15 at 3:29pm | IP Logged Quote Guests


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I suggest consult another 2 psychologists before assuming something is genuine.

Certain psychologists may think that they're so perfect in everything that - they assume the role of God.  But no human can equate with God so - do things according to winning - best out of 3 can decide the winning argument or not.

Tell that psychologist that he's pathetic and that not only are you going to find someone else, but you will never ever recommend them to anyone else.

Remember it's better to be pissed off, than pissed on and this psychologist is doing the latter with you.




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Posted: 2008 August 18 at 8:40am | IP Logged Quote melissaboulind@
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Hi there,


It seems like your psychologist was trying to explain to you what he/she feels may be happening in your current situation. Yes, psychologists are also human and may be wrong. You are allowed to tell your psychologist that you are angry with him/her and feel that they do not understand you. Perhaps you should ask him/her to explain why they feel that you suffer from BPD.

Listen to the explanation, BPD is very workable and as David said it is a pattern of interacting. The key is to break the pattern and develop more constructive ways of dealing with situations.

Good luck...


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Posted: 2008 October 06 at 8:15pm | IP Logged Quote dr.tracywatson
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Hi There

I have only just read your post and the responses by others - yet you have not replied on this forum - although you may have done so privately.

I am so sorry that you have experienced such uncontainment - especially when you have had the courage to seek help for past traumas.  Just reading your post, I immediately sensed your absolute rage at your experience. I also do not feel that you feel heard. 

I cannot really comment on your therapist.  However, I would not imagine that he intended - or I would certainly hope not - to to cause you more hurt.  None-the-less, this has been your experience.

I agree with David and Melissa in that you should approach your therapist and tell him how you feel.  Psychotherapy is your space to voice that which you feel and experience - not only in terms of past traumas, etc, but also in terms of your relationship with the therapist and the positive and negative impact.

The anxiety that you describe can be very restricting and debilitating. You have obviously a deep history of trauma and much respressed pain. Working through that in therapy can cause more anxiety and hence your therapy would need to be slow and containing to avoid you feeling choked.

I know you feel your trust has been destroyed.  Part of your growth and healing is being able to admit and identitfy emotions - otherwise how can we gain control over this to evoke some kind of change.  Your being able to speak out here and identify how you feel and express that in written form, is a begining to your journey to heal.  Entering therapy is also part of your taking the first step into taking your life back into your hands (even though it may not feel like it right now).

There are many reasons for cutting.  One of the reasons is that a person is unable to express - for example - their anger in a healthy way and feel so hurt that they cut (hence, pain and anger is turned inwardly to the self) - the cutting can also symbolise a getting rid of the inner bad - by bleeding outwardly.  The cutting also may give you a high - feeling of relief and hence why it can be so addictive at times.

I would imagine that it took you tremendous courage to tell your therapist that you cut and I know that you feel your trust has been violated.  however, you have already journeyed 5 months with your therapist.  Its not easy to go to another therapist and start all over again. If you are able to continue with this therapist, then perhaps you could suggest he slows down in therapy and works at your pace. Also you might use the space to operate in a way differently to what you are used to - challange your therapist by moving out of your comfort zone.  But only work as fast or as slow as you can handle otherwise you will feel uncontained.

I really wish you well and hope that you are able to carry on in psychotherapy.




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