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 What do you think of the quote below
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888Ronel888
Posted: 2012 April 04 at 3:50pm | IP Logged Quote 888Ronel888
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I am not sure of a neurological block process....but I have counselled people who find it very hard to connect as a result of repeated painful experiences. They come to associate being 'connected' with the risk of being hurt, so they acticely avoid this on all levels.
 
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Susan Smith
Posted: 2012 April 04 at 4:02pm | IP Logged Quote Susan Smith
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I know people like that too. Hard to change them -
almost seems to have become part of their DNA.

Cognitive therapy is probably the answer? Would love
your opinion though.

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888Ronel888
Posted: 2012 April 04 at 5:24pm | IP Logged Quote 888Ronel888
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I suppose CBT could work, but I still believe that the patient has to face exactly what they fear the most: emotional intimacy by exploring painful memories, catharsis through emotional expression, and coming to acceptance about what led to those painful experiences and how one could possibly change ones beliefs in order to change ones experiences, and what kind of people one attracts. What do you think?
 
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Susan Smith
Posted: 2012 April 04 at 11:53pm | IP Logged Quote Susan Smith
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Other than operant conditioning - and desensitising -
quite harsh. If I think of the people I know - to learn
to forgive, understand the concept of forgiveness and
to allow oneself to let go (because, for some, the pain
and the hurt is a crutch and a reason to act the way
they do - to gain sympathy, time off work, doctor
visits............).

Emotional maturity is not something that is easily
taught. I think personalities play a huge role in
actually getting oneself into a hole of this sort - some
personalities will choose to rather furnish and make
the hole as comfortable as possible as the world
beyond it, is to complicated, to overwhelming and just
too hard to face. Holding on to the pain is easier
than trying to face it.

Others will chew their arm off if they have to, to get
out of the hole. So, when working with clients like
this, I would imagine, you first have to assess their
personality using high order assessments, and then
identify whether they are just histrionic and happily
depressed, or whether they genuinely want out of
the situation they find themselves.

Quite interesting to think about it. I have a sister like
this, hence my insight as I have resigned myself to
the fact that she is happily miserable. I know it would
not make sense, but if she has nothing to be
unhappy about, she will find something! Most
exasperating, but that is her personality. She needs
attention from depression and being miserable. Sad
but true.

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888Ronel888
Posted: 2012 April 05 at 10:27am | IP Logged Quote 888Ronel888
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Yes CHANGE is the hardest thing for us humans to find peace with. I am not invested in anyone getting better, they are paying the costs so it is up to them to decide whether they have the courage to change. When someone is ready, they can change. They are on their own personal journey.

For me I decided to face every single thing I feared, and now I am able to find peace. Change is inevitable, so I've chosen to become the constant!!

 
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